FC Adverbus

we are FC Adverbus
of the Grammar League,
seasoned athletes of
the muddy soccer field
the chaotic consciousness
between your goalpost-ears
within your writer’s mind

they say we’re inferior to
Real Adjectivus, Metaphoris United,
FC Similium, Rhetorica
and all those other arrogant
Grammar League squads – but
we’re actually pretty damn good
at helping you to score

oft-mocked and maligned
by League owners
Hemingway, Zinsser,
Elmore and King
(who once snorted that
we were the paving stones of
the road to Hell)…

sadly misunderstood by
millions upon millions of
less-experienced authors
who have yet to master
the finer strategies of
the writing game…

we’re the sprinters that
dribble and pass
nuance, essence,
intensity and subtlety
through your forest
of unbridled thoughts
enabling you to drive
balls of wisdom, meaning and style
into the net of literary brilliance

allow me to introduce
three of our stars:

#21, Quickly,
darts through the opposition
like a nimble firefly
#7, Rapidly,
outflanks lesser sprinters
as if a torrential river
#12, Swiftly,
plunges down the field
like a peregrine falcon

granted, it’s true that
#13, Hurriedly,
lost his football mojo after
prowling the nightclub circuit
and swilling too much beer,
reducing himself to
huffing, puffing and stumbling
his way down the field –
so we sent him down
back to the farm team

nous sommes la crème des adverbes!
ready to defeat Oxymoris
and all other challengers on
the muddy soccer field
the chaotic consciousness
between your goalpost-ears
within your writer’s mind

– Paul Raworth Bennett

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