Useless as Teats on a Bull!

ah, Springtime!
sunshine, birds chirping
crisp morning air, peace

kissed Jane… later babe!
happy day ahead!
time for commute #1206

fired up Roddy
’57 Chevy convertible!
pulled out of the garage
gathered speed
livin’ large! yeah!

uhh…
what’s that sound
under the hood?

sped up, louder
slowed down, quieter
strange, eerie
a thousand dollar sound

back home
Mike the mobile mechanic
shrugged his shoulders
for ninety-five bucks

phone rang.  Barry.
“Where you at, dude”?
“Big trouble, Bear.  Big, big trouble.
It’s Roddy – horrible sounds
under the hood.”

“Be right over.”

Barry arrived
we clunked around the block
“whoa… sounds bad, man.”

back home
more troubleshooting
(Barry’s turn)
“hey, check this out!”
“what?”
“under the front bumper, dude!”

crawled underneath…

a duct-taped mouth organ!

with a little note:
“it’s a carmonica! April Fool’s!
love ya bro – Barry”

chased that sonofabitch
down the alley
could have torn him apart
with my bare hands

and where the hell
was Mike the mechanic?
useless as teats on a bull

– Paul Raworth Bennett

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