12-Step Success Muffins

~ Inspired by Christina Edick ~

* mission
* vision
* values
* integrity
* humour
* mindfulness
* compassion
* effort

* sustained-effort oven
* imagination bowl
* creativity fork
* progress skillet
* goal pan

Time required: variable.

Servings: 7 muffins, if you’re lucky (serves one)


1. Preheat a sustained-effort oven to 350 degrees.

2. Fold equal parts mission, vision, values and integrity into an imagination bowl.

3. Dash liberally with humour, mindfulness, and compassion. Blend well, using a creativity fork, until you have a light-grey, lumpy mixture.

4. Pour into a progress skillet. Set the heat low and begin stirring slowly.

5. Gradually increase the heat, regularly adding effort and stirring more rapidly. Make sure the mixture doesn’t stick to the exhaustion lining the bottom of the progress skillet and burn.

6. After stirring for awhile (the length of time depends on how much effort you’ve added), doubt-bubbles will emerge from the mixture and then pop. They’ll gradually reduce in size (but never disappear entirely). Keep stirring.

7. A kaleidoscopic range of colours will also appear – glowing brilliantly for awhile – and then disappear back into the mix, whose overall colour will be whitening and consistency will be thinning.

8. After the mix has changed from grey and lumpy to pure white and smooth, remove the skillet from the fire.

9. Pour the mix evenly into the compartments of a well-greased goal pan and slide the pan into the sustained-effort oven.

10. Bake until the muffins have fully risen (again, the time depends on the amount of effort you’ve put in) and the tops are a golden colour.

11. Remove the muffins and let them cool in a relaxation breeze.

12. Enjoy!

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